Lux Pacifica

My name is Zee Miller, and I am Lux Pacifica. As Lux Pacifica, I make paintings, drawings, illustrations, crafts and more. 

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In a 2013 essay for the New York Times titled ‘I Know What You Think Of Me’, Tim Kreider wrote the line “if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known”. I encountered that quote a few months after I had finished my first ever gallery show, which I had titled ‘haze (to be known)’. The title was sort of made-up on the spot, but like a lot of aspects of my art, the real relevance it had to my show revealed itself later in the process. Weeks after I had chosen the name, when I was hanging my finished artworks in the small gallery, I finally saw the connection between all of the pieces: a theme of allowing yourself to be seen and known, both internally and externally.

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My paintings mirrored the small things we do every day to hide ourselves from the world, protecting ourselves with masks and defenses, and hiding the truth of our feelings behind a pretty background. That quote from Kreider summed up the work I had made then and continues to be relevant to the work I make now. Into each artwork, I incorporate parts of myself and my experiences— often experiences that I don’t like to talk or think about, and feelings that I would rather try to hide. Through my art, though, I can express those feelings and make them into something new, while still protecting myself and hiding the parts too tender to show.

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My paintings are about allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to be seen and known, and I hope that by allowing myself to be seen through them, I can bring comfort to people who see and connect with them. I want to make art about the visceral, tender, closed off parts of ourselves, the parts that we try so desperately to hide; art that shows that when we let light and warmth into these dark places within ourselves, they can bloom into tenderness, and we can finally reap the rewards of being loved.